(The one with the smexy hat) Name - Jenny Nicknames - Jennifer, Jenny, Jen, Jennenifer, Pockets, Arakhne, Akiwombo, Special K, Juniper, Damali, Illyria, Rin, Genma, Prop Mistress Eternal, Queen's Lady #2, Tragedian #3, Ela Delahay, Banquo, The Anti-Snarfle, Ponce de Leon! Conqueror of Florida!, Jean Grey, Fatty MacFatterson, Pain (Sarah's Minion (Annie is Panic)) Age - 18. That's right. I can buy pr0n, cigarettes, vote, and get legally executed! PIMP. Country - USA. Woot. *waves flag* Likes - Martial Arts. Yum. Dislikes - I don't like dieing. It's a bit uncomfortable and it kinda tickles. Watching - Advent Children... Why am I not that awesome? Reading - Hanakimi Playing - WoW, Dirge of Cerberus, FFVII Listening - my fan creaking as it spins Eating - frosted tree-shaped pretzels Drinking - BAWLS! Singing - Various RENT songs... Mood - *gnaws on stapler* Guess.
I was being a n00b yesterday. Sorry. I took NyQuil sometime around 8 and passed out. And now I feel better. Mostly.
Instead of having a Graduation party, Mom is paying for me and her and Annie to go to A-kon in Dallas June 9-11. It's gonna be pimp because I'm gonna have enough money and the right hair to cosplay this time 'round ^^ I'm going to dye my hair red again and go as Gaara from Naruto for the first day which is this guy right here: Except I won't be upsidedown... Most of the time >.>
And then I'm going to take my white button up shirt, the black dress jacket Annie gave me and buy a pair of black slacks and, for the sake of wearing clean clothes, go as Reno from Final Fantasy VII for the second day. And Reno is this guy over here: Except I won't look so pissed off. Most of the time >.>
Yup yup. And I'll need to bring some sort of red colored instrument with which to draw/paint/brand Gaara's tattoo on my forehead and then the red lines up Reno's eyes. Yup yup. I'll be having Annie do that or something. Maybe with red lip or eye liner, I dunno. Or, a novel idea, a sharpie! So it won't wash off after the first day and I'll have an Ai tattoo on my head as Reno! Woot! Yeah for cross-fandoms!
Jenny :~: 10:44 AM |
Monday, May 15, 2006
Just... kinda disappointed in the world today. Yeah. That's a good word for it. I'd like to believe that people always have good intentions and when there's a problem it's usually just a misunderstanding, but that's not the case, is it? I dunno. My head hurts. The world's moving too fast around me and I can't keep up.
I'm still hung up on a lot of things. There are a lot of things I thought I didn't blame myself for anymore, but I realized that the guilt never really went away, I just ignored it for a while. And then we're back to same old same old. I feel like there's nothing I'm really good at and I'm going to end up living in a duplex with nine cats surviving on a diet of ramen and hot dogs. I've got the new little lifestyle of living for the moment and doing what feels right because I worry about the future and the past too much, but I feel like I've just formed that up so that I can have a reason to keep my mind off of the fact that I really am screwed. I'm only seventeen and I feel like I'm already burned out.
My head hurts. Again. It's been an every other day thing. Which isn't really out of the ordinary, but it's a sign that I'm not doing so well.
I've decided that I want to go into some career in writing. Even though I suck. But I enjoy it more than most things, more than I would computer science, so I hope that'll help me out. Thing is, what the hell am I gonna do with an English degree? Isn't there some Avenue Q song about how English degrees aren't worth shit? Mr. Rozelle says there's a program for "English, Writing and Rhetoric" at St. Edwards college in Austin and he says that would be perfect for editing. But editing? Don't I have to prove that I can actually write before I'm allowed to edit someone else's work? And I don't want to work writing articles for magazines and newspapers and I don't want to teach. I absolute DO NOT want to teach. So what do I do? There's nothing I'll really be happy with. See? Screwed. And it's my own fault too.
And I'm starting to think I'll never really get over this depression thing. I'm good for a while, and then I dip back down, and then I'm good for a while and then I dip back down again. Rinse and Repeat. Never freakin' ending cycle. Every time I feel like I'm okay, I prove myself wrong. Friggin' annoying, that's what it is.