Saturday, November 27, 2004
Today Was Good.
So today Matt came over around 11, wasted me in N64 Smash Brothers then we went to see Spongebob with mom and Danny. Only really enjoyed the David Hasselhoff part, then sat around in my room talking for a while before deciding to go look at crowbars at Lowe's. Half way to Lowe's, Phillip called and we talked while Matt and I played with the crowbars, then we went and to kidnap him and spent a while exploring his house. Twas grand. Really. The house is beautiful. Then we went off to Lisa's to try and kidnap her as well but she had to leave for Madrigal in a little bit, so we sat about at her house before going off to Phillip's again to have dinner. Turns out Matt had to go home, so it was just Phillip, Phillip's mom and stepdad and me. Jenny was nervous. Jenny hung onto the napkin for dear life. *cough* Jenny hasnt mentioned that being around friend's/boyfriend's/especially boyfriend's parents makes Jenny very nervous. Unless those parents are Annie's parents. Because they're canadian. And that works. But anywho, it was great fun. I had soup ^-^. Twas grand.
I want Half-Life 2. I need more Gordon Freeman in my life...
So, aside from the overload of homework that I'm too lazy and unfocused to get around to finishing and the random psychotic breakdowns of depression/rage, this holiday has been really good for me.
It's only 6:30 and it looks like it's already 9 outside...creepy...
*cries* and everyone's off to Madrigal...
I'm too bored to get on Gaia.
Ok, Pockets, signing out.
Friday, November 26, 2004
Note: There were huge chunks of this edited out because it would have gotten a few people very upset...even more so than they will get from the edited version...
Various people are pissing me off. For one, I don't like for my life to be anaylzed, but for some reason people get a kick out of it. And I say "people" because the idea of naming names makes me uncomfortable. I dunno. What the hell ever. I could have let Matt give Justin a verbal beating but because I'm nice, lol (i laugh because of the irony...I'm probably the only one who gets it...), I didn't. Then I told Annie about it and she got pissed and we started getting into an arguement about Matt, and you know what, Matt has always been nothing but a great friend to me so I'm going to defend him come hell or high water, but I didnt want to get into another arguement with Annie so I got offline. She thinks I'm some sort of retard for it, but all well.
Oh, by the way, just so people stop bitching me out for it: Owen and I are friends now. I said sorry for freaking out.
So I get people taking the little chunks they know of me and using it as a basis on which they construct this elaborate...thing, lol (Jenny's vocabulary is of the not right now), and then stick a little label on it that says "Jenny." I hate to use the phrase, but you don't know me. Really, you don't. So leave me alone. I also have some people talking to me about my relationship with Jake. I lost a lot going through stuff with Jake, such as little chuncks of my sanity and I don't like looking back on it. What's done is done and I'm glad I'm out of it. The next person I hear mentioning Jake to me gets a crobar to head, are we understood? I'm sick of hearing about him.
I'm not even going to go into the stuff about depression. You know what. I don't even care. I have no great urge to be understood by the people i've been ranting about, so I don't think I have to explain myself. ^-^
And as for my dating life, I realize I've touched on this before, but Piss. Off. My business. I don't want your opinion. Crobar to the head, right? Yes. Good. I'm happy with Phillip. And seeing as I know more than you about me, then I'm thinking that I'm right. ^-^ 'Kay?
Ok, well, I think I've ranted quite enough. Ugh. No one's online. I only got to talk to Phillip once today and that was about the war novel thing and Brittany's "singing monkey" that he has to see. Lol. Narf. The singing monkey named Coach Roberts...Ok, some one needs to get online. All well. I'm going to go shoot stuff. Later kids.
It's my war novel for English and I love it. It's really long but I love it. Yossarian is freakin' hilarious and I love his logic:
"They're trying to kill me," Yossarian told him calmly.
"No one's trying to kill you," Clevinger cried.
"Then why are they shooting at me?" Yossarian asked.
"They're shooting at everyone," Clevinger answered. "They're trying to kill everyone."
"And what difference does that make?"
"Who's they?" he wanted to know. "Who, specifically, do you think is trying to murder you?"
"Every one of them," Yossarian told him.
"Every one of whom?"
"Every one of whom do you think?"
"I haven't any idea."
"Then how do you know they aren't?"
Teehee, tis wonderful. K, i'm off to read somemore.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
The New Enemy: Sulfur.
So i've got this infection thing and I have to take Sulfur pills and soak my finger in medicated soap water for 15 minutes twice a day. It's a Pain. In. The. Ass. Mom says that I have to take a lot of water with the sulfur pills because of some reason, and now I've got the headache to end the effin' world so mom's like "DRINK MORE WATER!!!" but I've been walking around with a water bottle all day, drinking it but it's not helping!!! So, Jenny's new arch-nemesis: SULFUR!!!
So anywho, I've got this headache the size of Montana (that's right, Ben, I stole it!). Oh! Funny-ness! Read!
unfortunatly, no such thing exists. so i'm SOL
and on sulfur pills.
yay for sulfur?
Showers in Indiana smell like Sulfur.
that is bad.
Jenny, you need to lay off the crack
or the sulfur pills and medicated soap/
Mr. Pockets, signing off.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Pockets: Signing On.
The Problem with Gaming
Ok, so I got home today from Thespian Fest and I was in Gamer-mode. Spending a week around Matt and then having a 2 hour dicussion about Martial Arts will do that to you. The Problem: I have no games. Danny took Rainbow Six to college with him, Starcraft refuses to install itself on my computer, I lack the joystick to play Mech Warrior (i could learn how to use the keyboard commands, but please, I'm lazy.) and I got bored with training for Ghost Recon (yeah, Jenny actually goes through the training courses. I'm too lazy to skim the controls book thing). Oh, and the Pockets comment is from my account name on Ghost Recon. I am known as "Mr. Pockets."
Ok... So I'm Just Going To Sit Here And Shoot Stuff 'Til I Get Hauled Off To The Loony-Bin
Ok, so something happened and becuase I don't usually like to post about my relationships with people all over the internet this will be short. I think everyone that went to Thespian Convention realizes this by now, but I'm going on with Phillip now. ^-^ *glee* Well, Sam told Owen and now Owen is calling me with questions that I don't have any answers to so my solution: I'm just gonna sit and shoot the little Ghost Recon guys until They drag my away from the gamecube by my hair. Merf. Jenny needs her friends...nowish would be nice. Damn Madrigal (sp? I just remember that it was spelled in a way that it's not pronounced...)...
*sings* I'm All Alone...And Game-less...
Mmmmk, so yeah, Phillip, Matt, Annie, Manuel, Brittany, Ben, Ross and everyone I could really like to talk to right now is gone. Phillip, Annie, Manuel and Ross are at Madrigal (sp?) and Matt, Brittany and Ben are...I dunno. Off and about somewhere that isn't online. *cries a river* So I've taken to blog reading. Matt became like a best friend to me over the trip to thespian fest so I went to his blog and re-realized that I've missed a ton of posts. So I'm reading through those, then I'm off to Amy's and Ross's.
...was wonderful! It started out depressing, but ended up really great.
I re-acquired friends, learned a lot about Phillip, Matt, Lisa, Ben, Manuel, Annie and Brittany. Brittany is a really cool person, I really enjoyed talking with her and running amuck in the hotel with her. That girl is a hoot and a holler. Like I said earlier, Matt has become like a new best friend to me and I learned a lot about him too and about things that are troubling him. He is a great friend. He's supportive and honest and really puts everything he has into helping his friends to happiness. Phillip is great fun. I'm wary about spazzing out and going into a thing about Phillip because I know Owen will read this and I don't want him to get all off-put-ish about it. *insert long moment of pondering* Mmmk, well, it was his choice to read and I don't think I should have to edit my posts to make all my friends happy. But because it'm still wary and paranoid, I'm going to steal a method of annoucing from Matt's blog:
"I am dating [Phillip]. That makes me happy. [He] is awesome. That's all that needs to be said about that. It is a big deal, but, it would be foolish to blubber on and on about what we all already know, nani?"
I learned a lot about Phillip during our little drama moment when Manuel went missing (more on this later). He not only handles crisis-es (not sure of the plural of crisis) well, but he also knows how to deal with the aftermath. He's a bright little boy *gives him a gold star and The Stamp of Approval (i'm getting one for my next birthday...)* Now, Annie. I've been working a lot to try to re-construct my friendship with Annie because it seems that it's falling apart. We had a lot of long talks, Annie, Brittany, Lisa and I, while we were sitting about in our rooms. Talked about depression, about relationships, about plays, about funny noises, about friendship and Matt's spazing over scrap metal (more on this later as well). TONY LIKES LISA!!!! AND LISA LIKES HIM BACK!!! And Lisa's also depressed about something and I couldn't figure out what it was...this makes Jenny sad...Yeah, we decided that Lisa has to walk up to Tony, grab him and say "I like GAMERS. A LOT!" Those of you who haven't seen 'Jerry Finnigen's (sp?) Sister' won't understand that...too bad for you. Ben seemed sort of depressed but at the same time, making the best out of it. He's a real trooper. What I saw, I thought to be "this really sucks, but I'm not going to complain because I'm a nice guy like that...but this still really sucks."
I've gained a new understanding of what it is to be a true friend after talking with Matt and Brittany and watching Ben, Annie and Manuel. I'm striving to be that for my friends. I've become a lot more protective of my friends too, and a lot more honest. I defended Ben when I was talking with Annie and I tried to give Annie a little insight into why I've been freaking out towards her lately. So I've been trying to be all real-friend like to Matt and Ben and Brittany and Phillip and Annie and Manuel and Lisa and Zach and everyone. narf. long list.
The Manuel Crisis
So we were planning to leave earlier and go to El Chico on Saturday and then Annie runs up all teary and says that she can't find Manuel anywhere. It was crazy, we searched all over for him and Annie was hysterical with worry. We scowered the grounds for an hour and even had the official people make a couple announcements for him. When we finally found him, after we told him how worried we were and he saw how upset Annie was, he was crying too and he thought everyone would be pissed at him for going missing. Well, some people were pissed, but most of us were just happy to see that he was alive. He made a little mistake, it was nothing to be to so worked up about. It took us a while to happy-i-fy Manuel back up. I think it was the reading the menu backwards, he got a real kick out of that.
Of Scrap Metal and Ninja-Commandos
Ok, so, through out all of Thespian Fest, I was running amuck with Matt. We snuck up on Charlie. lol, yeah, we samurai ran to the hill, hit the ground, then army-crawled the rest of the way up the hill. Twas wonderous. And for the rest of the week, we were like that, being Ninja-Commandos. There was even a point in time when Matt and I started fighting/grappling/some kind of violence in front of the colisuem and Matt and I were like...Yay! Fun! and now Matt is my new grappling buddy, because nobody else will grapple with me T.T ... And on to Scrap Metal. Le Sigh. That was a hoot and a holler! Matt found this one peice of scrap metal down by the river and he ran around ringing it like a bell, saying things like "Bring out yer dead!" and "8 o'clock and All's Well!" so after that he searched the grounds for scrap metal and it was wonderful, the things that boy found...
To Quote Ziggy: "Hotel and Staff: 0. Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch: 2"
It all started with Ben saying something along the lines of Come on, Jenny! I'll take you down! and so Ben and I started wrestling on the bed. Ben cheated by saying something funny and took me down. I could've wasted him if he wasnt so damn funny. So after that, I dared Ben to take on Zach. Zach wasted him. Ben took on Ross. Ross wasted him. I took on Matt. We rolled around for a while and then Matt got me in this lock thing. I was wasted. I think I could have gotten out, but ahh well. Matt and I were fighting to the pin, not just to the drop so the match with Matt was great fun. During all this, Phillip was running about, taking random pictures because he does that. Him and that little camera...Narf! Anywho, so then Ben and I decided that we would team up against Zach. Zach not only wasted us, but he took out the bed as well. The 2 bed-things under the matteress folded in and the metal frame holding the whole thing up broke and Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch spent the next half hour using Matt's scrap metal and lots of duct tape to fix it. Once again, to quote Ziggy (aka, Marky Mark): "Pip kept breaking metal pieces, he was soo dreamy." 2 beds. 2 points.
If I left something out, post it yourself in the comments.
P.S. - This document was not spell-checked.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Ok, so I think Flooble hates me because I can't get the chatterbox to work. Narf. I've been handling my depression deal pretty good these last couple of days. I think the talk with Annie helped a lot. It still gets to me pretty bad though. By the way, I'd just like to say thanks a whole bunches to the Anonymous person posting in my comments. I already posted it there, but bleh. I'll do it again here. Your advice helps a lot and I appreciate the support.
Today feels like a Sunday. Yuck. On Sunday I'm gonna dress up in a Cat In The Hat suit (No longer McGruff) and walk around the mall entertaining children for some organization-event-thing. The point is that I get in free and get to take advantage of the huge sales *squeals like a giddy school girl*! Anywho, so that's that. I'm off to surf the web becuase I've given up on flooble. HELP ME AMYNESS! *cries a river*drowns in it*
Friday, November 12, 2004
Aaaaaaand Generic Narf. And Self-Analysis. Narf!
Well. Jenny talked to Annie. Annie doesn't hate Jenny. Big ol' freakin' relief. Though I'm pretty sure that Manuel has usurped my spot as Best Friend. I'm not really sure how I feel about that...it's like a big mix of emotions. Bitterness, of course, jealousy, angry, saddness, a feeling of abandonment, self-loathing (as always), and various other emotions that don't make a whole lot of sense considering the situation. It's so hard to seperate the disorder from my actual feelings and thoughts...And it's already hard enough to figure out what I'm feeling...It's weird, actually. I've had this problem for a long time now...It's like a brick wall was put up around the center part of my mind while I was looking the other way and now I can't find a way back in *randomly sings various songs from Pink Floyd's "The Wall"* ...I have no idea where some of the things I'm feeling are coming from...And then I have people asking me Why this and Why that and when I tell them I don't know, i guess the don't believe me because they just keep on asking...Do they think I'm lying to them? I honestly don't know. I don't know why I do some of the things I do or why I feel the way that I do so piss off already! I don't have any better answer for you...*cough* sorry...random burst. Anywho, it's like I was so busy trying to hide away from everyone else that I accidently lost track of myself...narf....
ok, enough of thinking-Jenny! Today is a Jesus Christ Superstar day! I decided that yesterday I was in a Jesus-Mood. A Gethsemane-Mood, to be more specific. The day I freaked out while talking with Justin, I was in a "Heaven On Their Minds"-Judas-Mood. Not sure which character I'm the personifacation of today...I'm thinking I'm King Herod today. Narf! Ok, well, Ninjitsu time! And I'm off to see The Incredibles afterward with Phillip and my family-kins! Woot! Later kids!
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Ok, so after toiling about with HTML, I finally got the template back up, save for the tag board, which I'll get to eventually. Updates in the Life of Jenny: I'm paranoid, twitchy, frustrated and as cynical as ever. My best friend hates me because I spazzed out MSN and went kinda really psycho. Everyone hates me. They're all after me. La de effin' da. I'd be happy to die. ^-^ And I refuse to take anti-depressants so, No, It will not be okay. And yes, I realize that's my fault. Of course. It's all my fault. Thank you. I know. Please don't state the obvious. I'm off to juijuitsu to get the crap beaten out of me. For some reason that makes me feel a little better...in a way...Lol, so now Jenny's a masochist *insert bitter laughter here*. And for those of you how are like Owen and are all "OMGOMGOMG! JEnny's sad! WAAAAHhhhhhAAAAAhhhh!!!!!" Don't worry. I'll get over it. It's a sickness. It'll pass. And no. I don't want to talk about it. Oh yes! I was off to get thrown around! Yesh. Okies. Later, kids!
P. (M) S. - Go ahead. Call me a moron. You know you want to.